Be Uncomfortable

Doing things outside your comfort zone is a skill. It’s a skill we need to have difficult conversations, learn new things, get stronger, to stretch ourselves and to grow. Growth almost always requires a certain amount of discomfort. 

Some discomfort is physical and some is mental. This is about mental discomfort. Doing things that are scary, outside of our usual way of being, or that have a risk of failure. When something makes us feel uncomfortable, we are more likely to avoid doing it. Maybe we distract ourselves instead, or tell ourselves we don’t really need to do that anyway. I can tell I’m uncomfortable when I feel something inside me recoil a bit and my inner critic says, “you can’t do that. Don’t try.” If it’s something small, my attention jumps to something else. When email, texts or Instagram feel urgent, I know I’m seeking relief from an uncomfortable feeling. 

Learn to be uncomfortable

The first step is to notice your discomfort, and experience it. How do you know you’re uncomfortable? Is there a feeling in your body? For me it’s fidgeting. I get distracted and my breathing becomes shallow. What happens to you? Maybe there are ideas or an image that pops into your head, or a voice. Your inner critic might pipe up, like mine does. When you learn these cues, you can catch yourself when you’re uncomfortable. Be curious. Sit with it when it happens. Let yourself feel uncomfortable. It’s temporary, will end and you’ll have learned to sit with discomfort.

The second step. That’s one part of your experience. But there is another part too, the part of you that wants to do the uncomfortable thing. How do you experience that? Is it in your imagination or in your body? Notice that part too, give it some attention. This is just as important as sitting with your discomfort. This is the amazing part of you that wants to do the thing that is hard. Find out - is it excited, confident, curious or something else?

The third step is to do the uncomfortable thing. With both parts, the discomfort and the part that wants to do it.

The fourth step is do the uncomfortable thing again and again. Find small things that are uncomfortable to practice on. Sometimes it’s easy to take one big step, or make one big change, but doing uncomfortable things all the time is really hard. The solution to this is practice. Practice noticing both experiences inside you, and it’ll get easier to do the really uncomfortable things. 

The last step is to appreciate you, what you did. Whether you did the uncomfortable thing, or are working up to it - yeah you!! Cheer yourself on because it’s hard work. You are amazing for growing and learning, and doing things that are not easy.