Differences between Therapy and Coaching

Sometimes when I meet people and tell them what I do, people aren’t too clear what exactly therapy is and what the difference is between coaching and therapy. So I thought I’d explain how I see it.

Coaching

I’ll start with coaching. Because of sports, most people probably understand it better. I think business coaches, relationship coaches, life coaches and sports coaches are similar. Coaches guide people towards goals. They give advice and direction to extract the best performance we are capable of achieving. 

Coaches teach and instruct to develop skills. Often, they break down performance on a task to build the physical and mental skills to learn skills, or do them better. If the coach is good, and if you focus and work hard, your performance will improve. 

In my view, coaches who have expertise in the area or industry they work in, will be more effective. They’ll understand the details and the nuances of challenges and the skills you need. For me, this is important because performance and skills are contextual. The skills and perspective I need as an entrepreneur are different from the ones I need to navigate work in a large organization.

Coaches also help with the discipline of work. Coaches are there to help through practice, and remind us of the importance of regular practice. That’s how new skills are developed.

Therapy

Therapy is a little different, perhaps a little looser. People usually come to therapy when they are in pain, often deep psychological pain. There are exceptions, some seek therapy for personal growth (that’s how I look at my therapy these days). 

Psychological pain can come in the form of anxiety, depression, large mood swings, addictions, despair, extreme anger, or any combination of things that make us dissatisfied, unhappy or disconnected. Sometimes relationships feel “broken” and people don’t know how to fix them. Sometimes people know why they are in pain, and sometimes they only know that they are unhappy. 

Because we are not at our best when we’re in pain, all aspects of our life may suffer. We can have problems in our close relationships, with work, at home and with family and friends, in planning for life or the future, our health, or any other aspect of life. 

Therapists may look at the patterns in behaviours and relationships, may explore your current experiences, or may help you with future goals. Therapy can use emotions, memory, imagination (for example, visualization, art), the body (for example, movement or body sensations), thinking or relationships. All of those are useful ways of learning about ourselves and what makes us happier and able to do what we want in life. 

Decades ago, I was in a workshop on process-oriented psychology and the instructor, someone I admire deeply, said that therapy should improve your life overall. If after six months, you don’t see tangible differences in your relationships, your work, income, level of happiness, it’s time to find a therapist better suited to you. 

What they have in common

Therapy and coaching are similar in that both have an element of learning. The way a coach teaches might be different from a therapist, but with both, you can learn new skills, new things about yourself and how to do things better to improve your life. 

Both coaches and therapists also need to have an understanding of psychology and relationships. But here, there is often a difference. Therapists, by nature of the work and training, generally have a deeper understanding of psychology and more tools to draw upon. I approach therapy as “depth work”, uncovering the layers to see how we are underneath and perhaps discover parts of ourselves that don’t get much attention. 

Therapists often work with a wide range of people, in different states of being able to navigate with life. Coaches, however, may have more insight and experience in achieving high performance at work, and certainly do in sports.